My Decision. 最終的決定。
It’s been some time. For months, I’ve been struggling with the decision. For months, I’ve changed my decision countless times. And here comes the inevitable question I’ve tried to hide even till now.
Why does my brain shout Berkeley while my heart screams Minerva?
People say that it’s best to choose what your heart or soul wants, but choosing the hard choice is harder than it seems, isn’t it? If not, then why would most choose the easy and normal path?
Yet is the heart always right? Is it always telling me what I truly want? Or am I just having self-doubt because I’m afraid? If that’s the case then Minerva! But how do I know I’d survive in Minerva. What if I don’t get along with the people, is there a way to reinvent myself? What if my network dies within the boundaries of the 150 classmates?
Then it’s clear, Berkeley is the better option. Situated beside Silicon Valley, the best business school, alumni network, the best startup accelerator program. But how can I give up the opportunity to travel the world, how can I give up the school that is a flawless reflection of the ideas I’ve strived for during the bulk of my high school: proactivity?
Yet, flawless is it?
The idea of taking a leap of faith has made me neglect the virtual classes that might murder my focus, the lack of a campus that would rid me of any campus life or sports spirit, the stress of being active all the time, the need to live independently and survive. But every time I lean towards Cal, my heart reminds me that Minerva has been the choice I’ve always wanted. Just take the leap and choose the road less traveled. Yet, after all, it is real life, isn’t it? And is real life the same as dreaming? I am torn, I am split in two, unable to make myself whole again.
And somehow, even as my best friends recommend me to go to Berkeley, even though the ultimate comparing list says that Berkeley would win Minerva for several reasons. Despite all that, I couldn’t give up Minerva.
Three years of high school, and today is the third from the last day. After receiving all the decisions of the thirty colleges I’ve applied for, a rhapsody of relief and stress seems to cloud my vision ahead. The ultimate question of “what now?” becomes an overdue priority task on my to-do list. It isn’t that I don’t have anything planned, but that the notion of how a single decision would determine my path for the next four years and beyond haunts me. But maybe it doesn’t matter where I go, the path unknown, the path less traveled, or neither. Maybe it depends on who I am as a person and what I do with the decision.
Yet, questions like the following still screech in my head: What do I want in life? What do I want to gain out of my college experience? Who do I want to become in 4 years? What would I be worth by then?
Well, I know what I’m worth right now. I am worth three dreams. One dream is to make the world a better place by being an entrepreneur. One dream is to travel the world and witness the world’s wonders. One dream is to produce movies, writings, or any form of art that make people feel.
“Sometimes, the only realists are the dreamers.”
I can’t possibly chase three at the same time. Just like I can’t choose to go to Minerva, UCLA, and Berkeley at the same time. Each school representing one of my dreams, I’ve made my decision and I would never look back. For once, let me take off my goggles of unconventionalness and say:
Go Bears!
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